My friend pulled a hamstring and I called her up so she could tell me aaaallll about it.  She said, “It feels better when I rub my butt, but I can’t do that at work.” 


I said, “I rub my butt at work.”  You know, if it hurts or something.  (Seems logical to me, right?)  Maybe I shouldn’t do that.  Nobody ever says anything about it, but people are funny creatures.  Nobody will ever tell me if my deodorant isn’t working (or if I forgot to put it on), even if I ask.  Maybe I just need a better internal editor.


Or a backspace button.